1. |
Friend Army
02:45
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When we're born, we are song-less
Then Jesus writes a jingle on our chests
At thirteen, we rap-battle with rabbis and wise guys
And I was beaten by a Buddhist who told me this:
If you like friend,
You'll love boyfriend.
If you like boyfriend,
You'll love movie.
If you like movie,
You'll love theme song.
If you like theme song,
You'll love band.
I dreamt of a policeman on a unicorn
And the unicorn wore a police unicorn uniform
They ran me down until I stumbled and I was stabbed by its magic horn
Just before waking I remembered I was warned:
If you like band,
You'll love festival.
If you like festival,
You'll love experience.
If you like experience,
you'll love job.
If you like job,
You'll love army.
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2. |
Race to Revival Beach
01:28
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3. |
Nurse & Patient
04:27
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I worked at the hospital emergency room
When you came in with a gunshot wound
And I fell for you
In your bloodstained dress
Yes, I confess it was love at first sight
And as a Registered Nurse I fight
To save the lives of every girl and guy
That's wheeled through the door
For you, I fought a little more
You, you pulled through,
You said it was a boy in blue
Who had done this to you, then there was a video, and everybody knew,
But everybody also knew that this happens every day, and it was hardly news
But I couldn't cope, I clutched my stethoscope so tight it broke
Almost revoked my Hippocratic oath
I thought if that cop comes in shot through the throat, you know,
I might just be a little slow
We were crowned king and queen
And the Renaissance theme
Was a hit with your relatives; fifteen lutes and tambourines
Played us down the aisle, and your smile was the best I'd ever seen
Then we danced the night away, Geoff played Daloy Politzei
I drank too much champagne, I nearly sprained my ankle tripping on your train
Then there was you and there was me, and it's true, ACAB,
But you whispered "me and you, mister, we're stronger than any cop could ever be."
There was you, and there was me.
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4. |
Canadian Wine
05:26
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Canadian wine in a red plastic cup
Receiving line: I throw up
On the shoes of the groom
A handsome paralegal named Kevin
My limit is five, and I had seven
The dance floor spins, it's LED magic
Macarena begins, and it's fantastic
The beat so digital
Three hundred pairs of hands know the moves
I loosen my tie, and kick off my shoes
What a wonderful night for folks to get married
If it's all right, I'll stay here for a while
There's a bright white light there on the horizon
The white light stays when I close my eyes
What's a girl like you doing at a wedding like this?
You said "I'm the bride, recognize the dress?"
The function room trembled
Silver and glassware rattled and you grabbed my lapels
The cake table crumbled, the chandelier fell
We ducked for cover as the ceiling fell in
We held one another and held our breath in
And in the final flash of heat you asked me
"Are you a guest of Kevin's or a guest of mine?"
I said to be honest, I just came for the wine
What a wonderful night for people to get married
If it's all right, I'll stay here for a while
There's a bright white light there on the horizon
The white light stays when I close my eyes
The white light stays when I close my eyes
The white light stays when I close my eyes
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5. |
The Troll
03:51
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It wasn't trolling; I rolled bowling emojis into the gutters of browsers
But my best body English could not make them mean what I meant
Like a boarding school bully pulling down trousers
They said I secretly just wanted hugs, or the online equivalent
But I'm neither maudlin hobgoblin, sad spammer, nor lurking skulker;
No alien-ranting Raelian; no slinger of Kennedy conspiracies
I'm a binary Luther, I nail theses to the comment threads and protect my head from the vultures
I type John 8:32 and the digital storm clouds gather over me
So I shift six, make a circumflex umbrella
Tell the sky guy to take a high dive off a low board
The rain lashes back in black backslashes,
But I'm a backsplash and drops bounce like balls on the walls of a squash court
It's too late for the haters to learn later is better than never
So don't say, come doomsday, I didn't say it was so
If you hear giggling mingling with the storms of the nuclear weather
That's just the sound of me down in my bunker ROTFLMAO
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6. |
Arrival at Revival Beach
01:32
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7. |
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Remember when we were kids, we'd go skating on the river near the famous drowning of seventy-two
I was so bad at skating but I wanted to move like Kurt Browning for you
And the ice was so clear we could see our reflections in it
I fell down and bruised my tailbone just to get your attention for a minute
Well now we're old
And it never gets cold
I'm still sore
And the river never freezes anymore
Remember that winter when we got snowed in and the power was out for a couple days or so
Your parents stayed inside and got wasted and they thought we didn't know
But we waited until they were fast asleep and poured their half empty glasses into mason jars
And we went out that night and laid down on the river, and that was the first time I think I really noticed the stars
We went careening down the ice
Contravening advice
You kissed me at the bridge by the store
And the river never freezes anymore
Let's be honest, I look better in a parka than a bathing suit
And I was wearing a very nice parka that night on the river when you told me I wasn't exactly good looking, but you thought I was cute
I was like, I'm barely a teenager, I'm not supposed to believe in nostalgia
But I remember predicting I'd feel it later, that night on the river when I held you
Well, I guess I told me so
And that's how it goes
Here's to all the dinosaurs
'Cause the river never freezes anymore
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8. |
The Babysitter
03:46
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"Fire in the hole," said the SS officer to the private as he left the lavatory with a laugh
The private held his nose with one hand and his privates with the other, he thought, oh brother, undercover isn't really all that
The private spent his Deutschmark in the porcelain park and came back laughing 'cause he didn't want to seem suspicious
There was a plot, see this fake Nazi was a Scot, he shot a lot of proper Nazis, never got caught, working for the British
He said "deal me in, boys, I want to win some tin from all you top dogs
Oh, hot dog, look at that, a hell of a hand!"
They guffawed and said "mein Gott, you really don't know when to stop,
You've lost a lot, you sure put the debt in Sudetenland"
He said "well, read em and weep, dudes, I'm playing for keeps, and you fascists put the asses back into fiasco"
And with that he flicked his wrist and a gave a silent sharp kiss to their Nazi necks, said "this is how we say goodbye in Glasgow!"
Back in England the King would sing the praises of the soldiers
And their shoulders bent lower with the medals on their chests
But our Scotsman he got a different lot, 'cause as a secret spy
His true profession, it could never be professed
He was visiting his sister in the south and she said "listen, Mister Mouth,"
(that was his nickname ever since their adolescence)
"There's a house just down the road where lots of ladies go and I know one who
You might know, sent for convalescence
Her name is Unity Valkyrie, and her family name is Mitford, yes, the famous Mitford sisters, that aristocratic litter
At the first opportunity, Unity left her home community and she foolishly flew to Germany and became best friends with Hitler
And now she's back and she's on her back in that convalescent cottage
But it's quite odd 'cause no one's sure what ails or what will cure her
Girl after girl seems to go into the front door, and babies out the back door,
And what we don't need is a little baby Führer"
At zero nine hundred hours our hero picked a peck of flowers
And let his bouquet lead the way into the infamous infirmary
He was a spy not a midwife but he swore upon his life
That babies yelling and big bellies were a mark of mass maternity
Well, no one knows what happened, or what didn't come to pass,
In any case the world is safe from an English Orphan Hitler
And our Scottish spy retired, never gave a reason why,
He just lived out a quiet life as a full-time babysitter
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9. |
Mr. Sensible
02:18
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Pink ceramic cat lamp
On the desk of Mr. Sensible
Tiny black ceramic eyeballs
In your pink ceramic face
A factory in Guangzhou
Made seven million of you
Your brothers and your sisters
A pink ceramic kitty litter
Mr. Sensible adores you
Though you don't fit with his decor
He never had a real cat
His allergies prevented that
He's busy signing documents
By the order of the government
A factory will open here
Making pink ceramic cat lamps
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10. |
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11. |
Minor Changes
02:36
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Don't have a cow, man
It's alright
Just minor changes
The second chapter
Could use some work
And rearranging
But in general I really like the story arc
I find the landscape descriptions believably stark
And your characters, for the most part, are well-developed but not over-explained
And I love the recurring device of the poisonous rain:
It emphasizes dramatic peaks in the narrative
Like the ultimatum the emperor gives: it sounds extra-imperative
And I was floored by the Doors of Decision, when she finally understands
They all lead back to the start of the labyrinth, and this was all part of his plan
So don't have a cow, man
It's alright
Just minor changes
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12. |
The Last Night
02:47
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White plastic lilies are wilting in bottles
Of Bombay Sapphire Gin
Somebody left the front door standing open,
And let all of nobody in
The piano is playing but nobody’s staying
To hear the young troubadour out
His songs blur together and go on forever
No one knows what they’re about
Dollar store candles reflect as they flicker
In glasses of cocktail drinks
Which later that evening the staff will be leaving
In bleach-filled stainless steel sinks
The new smoking bylaw will be a break for the barman
But now he sweeps up the butts from the floor
He closes his eyes for a moment and sighs
At three in the morning as he locks the front door
White plastic lilies are wilting in bottles
Of Bombay Sapphire gin
Somebody left the front door standing open,
And let all of nobody in
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13. |
Supermoon
03:27
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Sorry to turn on the light
I hate to wake you in the middle of the night
But you were snoring like you were being waterboarded
And you know how I feel about torture
(Yes, I know how you feel about torture)
It's all over, though it's hard to believe it
We should pack whatever is needed
Then haul our affairs down the apples and pears
And make like a drummer and beat it
(I'm gonna make like a drummer and beat it)
It's coming up, a supermoon
We'll dance like sailors danced
Back in the days when there were sailors and dancing
We'll shake like everyone's watching and we know how to move
The cha-cha-cha and the boogaloo, too
A cocktail shaker, a karaoke machine
We'll bring one of each
Then meet our friends where the moonlight hits the sand
Down on Revival Beach
(Down on Revival Beach)
Kevin brought the wine from the wedding
The troll gets the glasses and pours
The patient and the nurse say hey it could be worse
At least we don't have to work anymore
(No one has to work anymore)
It's coming up, a supermoon
We'll sing all the songs we hardly know how to sing, but we'll sing regardless
Pass the wine, remember the government? Looks like their bill came due
But who needs a government when there's dancing to do?
It's coming up, a supermoon
Considering the chaos and upheaval this is all much more medieval than evil
Bonfires and beaches, passionate speeches, Darren plays a little tune on the lute
Let's start again, get the juice and the gin, and put on your birthday suit
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The Burning Hell
The Burning Hell is the ongoing musical project of songwriter Mathias Kom and multi-instrumentalists Ariel Sharratt and Jake
Nicoll, often including additional comrades and collaborators.
Their densely populated genre-shifting songs are packed with an abundance of literary, historical, cultural, and pop-cultural forebears, heroes and villains, subjects and objects, stories and hooks.
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