Many people around the world are bereft of the beautiful tradition of the bank holiday, originally introduced by the visionary British banker and dog-literacy advocate John Lubbock in 1871, to protect the poor sweet banks from potentially losing precious shillings by closing when others stayed open in the willy-nilly regional holiday system of ye olden tymes.

Featuring the vocal talents of members of Quiet Marauder, My Name Is Ian, Francesca's Word Salad, Prizefighter, Mock Deer, Alex and the Christopher Hale Band, Randolph's Leap, and Susie Asado - in order of appearance:

Kadesha Drija
Ian Williams
Francesca Dimech
Simon Read
Jack, Annie, and Ben Walker
Laura Capaldi
Rick Damiani
Alex Hale
Adam Ross
Josepha Conrad

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It’s a holiday
A general holiday
It’s time to leave the office
Think of all the Fortnite we will play

Some holidays are for Christians
Some for Muslims or for Jews
But today’s a special day
For all of them and for you too

But press pause and think of the sad ones
Who don’t get to celebrate
No barbecues with the in-laws
No seaside trips to take

They don’t know what they’re missing
Because their ways are foreign
They celebrate the days when
Dead explorers went exploring
Or for saints grotesquely murdered
They make a holy hullaballoo
Speaking of God, thank him or her that it’s
Them instead of you

There’ll be no day-drunks on the Continent this Monday afternoon
Their only task will be to work the day away
No pubs or fun for them, their weekend’s the normal length
Are they even aware it’s a bank holiday?

Mom, dad, where do bank holidays come from?
Wait, I thought you said you gave him The Talk years ago!
Well, you see, son, back in the Industrial Revolution, each region had their own local holidays, but the banks were so afraid that if they closed at all on a weekday they’d go bust…

But a baron and a banker named John Lubbock
Proposed Bank Holidays in the golden year of 1871
He also tried to teach his standard poodle how to read
At least his first idea worked, now there’s more fun for everyone

I think it’s great to celebrate our history
And I hate to spoil the magic and the mirth
But in terms of public holidays, we’re really not so great
we’ve the second-least of any country on the planet Earth

Yes but the Germans don’t have a day off at the end of August
Aber wir haben Christi und Maria Himmelfahrt
Do Cambodians have days to celebrate? Really, twenty-eight?
But I bet their holidays just can’t be as good as ours!

And while the Popey places may get more than we do
They have to spend them listening to some creepy priest
Eight a year suits me just fine, (in Scotland we get nine!)
And less time off means a strong economy!

These Latvians seem confused that we’re in Riga
Celebrating Gary’s stag in our special way
We’ll drink and puke and sleep, these flights were so damn cheap
Are they even aware it’s a bank holiday?
Are they even aware it’s a bank holiday?

No more work!***
Today’s a day we call Bank Holiday!

No more work!
Tell your friends about bank holidays!

No more work!
Sing a song about bank holidays!

No more work!
Everyone should have bank holidays!

No more work!
Bank bank bank bank bank bank holidays!

No more work!
Tell your mom about bank holiday!

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***You may think you recognize the melody and phrasing of the outro, but I assure you, it's entirely original and quite immune to legal action.*

*Love u, Sir Geldof!