Note to pedants: yes, I am aware that the use of "ye" in the title is grammatically incorrect, since it is not an objective but rather a subjective pronoun. But the rest of the title is also incorrect, for reasons that will become obvious in the song. So don't @ me, or I.

Original hymn melody likely written by a disheveled monk living on a diet of lichen and beer somewhere in northern England during the Dark Ages. Lyrics by me. Thanks to Gudrun for suggesting this one!

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God rest ye, merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay
I trust you did not meet a jam upon the motorway
We’d heard there was a nasty crash
Somewhere north of Leicester
In any case you’re here in plenty of time, plenty of time
Sound check is not ’til shortly after five

Oh come in, Merry Gentlemen, your green room’s well-appointed
Havarti cheese and M&Ms, you won’t be disappointed
We could not find the type of wine listed on your rider
So we picked up a box of zinfandel, zinfandel
Four litres of generic zinfandel

On the poster “Merry Gentlemen” hath been spelled incorrectly
Our poster guy assumed that it was merry with an “ie.”
And “gentleman” he hath inscribed, though clearly ye are plural
But we’ve changed it on the Facebook event page, event page
On the website and on Facebook it’s been changed

Oh pardon, Merry Gentlemen, just checking in to see
How much longer you expect that your soundcheck doth needeth be?
Doors are at half eight and we’ve got three supports this evening
On account of sluggish advance ticket sales, ticket sales
Could be the rugby’s on, it’s Scotland vs. Wales

Yes, thank you Merry Gentlemen, and here’s your guarantee
May I say I’ve never heard a lute plucked with such vicious speed
The crowd was sparse but those who came they surely did enjoy it
Medieval metal hasn’t really caught on here, but have no fear
We’ll do better with a weekend date next year