La Tomatina is the holiday I've never experienced in real life that is #1 on my list for post-pandemic times. Who wants to come with me to Buñol, Spain, and throw tomatoes at each other?

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If you deplane in Barcelona
Todas las personas
They’ll tell you the very misma cosa:
Our town is overrun
With turistas seeking sun
And gaudy Gaudi trinkets by the tonne!
So we highly reccomendya
Head south down to Valencia
Especialmente Buñol
Where you can verdadamente lose control

¡Es La Tomatina
Estamos en la calle
Tirando tomates
No sabemos por qué!

Nobody knows for sure
How La Tomatina started
But in 1945
When a tomato cart uncarted
Instead of bringing the tomatoes
To the cart or to a bucket
The people said let’s chuck em
At each other, because fuck it
There’s not so many chances
To be silly under fascism
So let’s have a tomato fight
A fruity saucy baptism

¡Es La Tomatina
Estamos en la calle
Tirando tomates
No sabemos por qué!

No historian is certain
That you can take this to el banco
But it’s rumoured that one man
Who was no fan was General Franco
He said all this tomato chaos
Does not make a buena vista
It’s something more befitting
Those dirty anarquistas
And even though Dear Frankie
Had had all the leftists shot
He still thought La Tomatina
Might be a commie plot

¡Pero es La Tomatina
Estamos en la calle
Tirando tomates
No sabemos por qué!

But now Franco’s just a lump
Of bones and teeth inside a casket
And millions of tomatoes
Are ripe and ready for the fascists
Should they venture to Buñol
On the last miércoles of August
They’ll soon be covered head to toe
In tomatoes, this I promise
But everyone’s a target,
It’s difícil to explain
But when you’re in this part of Spain
You’ll hear the old refrain:

¡Es La Tomatina
Estamos en la calle
Tirando tomates
No sabemos por qué!